Rated PG-13 for language
Fawk school transportation. Specifically, my daughter's bus...She's apparently getting written up for screaming. I never really liked their bus aide. I'd smile and say "hi" and all I'd get in reply would be - nothing. I presume she's stink-eying me through her sunglasses. She said, "She has this really high pitched scream" (Well, she is a girl. You must not have any kids, and if you do, they're boy(s)) and "it's unsafe for him [the bus driver]".
My daughter is generally a good child. She rarely acts out on her own. She's reactive. I wondered at the time what was going on to cause her to scream, but didn't say anything. Lo and behold, several kids were swearing and my daughter didn't want to hear it.
I'm pissed. I feel like she's being picked on. I don't understand how kids can get away with punching my daughter in the eye, drawing on her pants, and generally fucking with her, yet my daughter screams and she gets written up... I don't understand how she can be so well behaved at school, yet not on the bus. I honestly don't think the bus drivers and aides understand children with Asperger's, ADHD, and other emotional problems. I think they need some sort of training.
I am not making excuses for my daughter...I'm not saying that what she did was ok and she shouldn't face some sort of repercussion. I just want them to understand. My daughter is not like most of the kids here in this city. We are not like the rest of the people here. I'm not saying we're better, but this city is known for its trash and we're not trash.
Fawk my husband's ex-coworkers. Again...The one old guy he used to work with knocked on my fucking door yesterday to ask me if we were going to be out by the 9th. My husband already discussed this with your boss. What business is it of yours when we're out?? I just told him, "Should be..." in the hopes that he'd run his mouth and make our "landlord" nervous. I hope it worked. Then they put a for rent sign out front. My sister asked if she could kick it down. I almost told her yes.
Fawk dreaming. After the last two nights? I don't think I want to ever dream again. The other night, I can't remember exactly what was going on, but I woke up crying. I'm pretty sure it was about feeling panicked over all the recent events. But last night's dream was by far THE WORST dream I've ever had....It trumps tenfold my dream about being held captive by a Texas Chainsaw Massacre-like town by family with a cannibalistic, colorless (she was that evil apparently) daughter...and that dream had me bothered for a couple days.
Last night, I dreamt that I was doing housework and washing clothes. My washer had to be inside a giant tub. because it would overflow. Well, I hadn't seen Dia or Kyri... I went to go empty out the tub as it had overflown, and there they were, floating just below the water as if Dia was holding Kyrielle. Their mouths slightly open and eyes closed. I grabbed them, they were cold and their mouths blue. I woke up before I had actually pulled them out of the water. It felt as if someone was squeezing my heart and twisting it. I literally think I was about to have a heart attack this morning. No joke. I didn't wake up crying...I started thinking about other things to get my mind off of it. Except, I started thinking about yesterday's events on the bus. Then I think I cried the hardest I have in a long time. At this point, I don't think I want to dream again. Ever.