P.Y.H.O. - "New" mom fears and random babble

We're moving in four or five days. There's still so much work to be done, but I can't get much done with three kids. Or anything. In fact, I'm lucky to keep the house clean by the end of the day.

The youngest, I lovingly call Bratosaurus, wants attention constantly. And if she doesn't get it, she will let you know she's not happy. She's 15 months, going on three. She hasn't been sleeping well lately. I think, because of her teeth. She hasn't been falling asleep until between 10:00 and 12:00, and must fall asleep next to me. We have a couch pushed up next to our bed that she sleeps on, but insists on laying on top of me in order to fall asleep.

I'm really worried about how I'll fare on my own once the new baby comes. When she's in a good mood, she's the sweetest, cutest thing ever. But if not, she pulls hair, swats at you, throws things, and screams loud and high enough to break glass.Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm sure she's close to actually doing so. Nighttime is not the right time here. Trying to cook dinner, clean up, and get everyone in bed (and keep them there) has been very stressful here lately. She's usually very cranky by 8:00. And lately, she cries non-stop unless you're rocking her or laying down and constantly rubbing her belly, back, or forehead. But you have to find what she wants otherwise she'll keep crying.

She's a very determined baby. She takes after me too much. She even  says "oooh" when she's mad. I can't put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs since the window goes into the stairwell about two and an half steps in. So I have two chairs laying on their side in an L-shape, a box, her wooden highchair, and a hamper full of clothes all Tetris-ized to barricade the way. Did it stop her? No. She squeezed her way in, pushed the hamper and high chair with her butt until she could sit down and use her legs to push herself and everything back. Pulled out each chair, and then climbed up the stairs to play with her brother and sister. It didn't take her long at all. Less than a minute. Should I have stopped her? Yes, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

She also likes to flop around, like a whale in water. Except, she's on land and on top of whoever. Or she'll crawl around all over me. I'm really worried about this once the new baby comes. I know there's going to be lots of breastfeeding (I'm hoping not, but my boobs don't work like they should), and she can't be doing that. I'm trying to stop all this, but like I said, she's a very determined child.

I know a sling a will come in handy once the baby's born, but I can't use it all the time. And I'm seeing her become extra clingy with all this packing, it's going to happen again once the baby arrives. I'm not too worried about her hurting the baby. Well, sort of. But I know she's super sweet in general...unless she wants something.

I am genuinely worried about my sanity. Still... Even this past weekend, while my husband was home, it was still pretty much all me taking care of the kids. Every Tuesday night I have broken down in tears. How on Earth am I going to manage four kids?? I will get some help while living with my in-laws, but I'm not sticking it all (or even a fourth) of it on them.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness!

I will be a "single" mom for as long as he works there. Because even with his time here, it's more like hired help. The only time I'll really get to see him is his one week vacation that he'll get in 2013. And if he decides to work Saturdays, he may as well not even exist. The pay will be really good, but I'm questioning is it all worth it? Now, I have to get my license, which is a whole other post itself...

My apologies for this post having little continuity...but it's a good example of how my mind's been lately. lol.











Brought to you courtesy of Shell.