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Monday, August 30, 2010

Everyone's always got something to say

My parenting style is different from anyone else in my family. I am the first person to be into attachment parenting (AP). I wasn't always though.

With my first born, I guess you could say I was more into the mainstream way of parenting, for lack of a better term. While I attempted to breastfeed, I couldn't.. She had a "super root". Her rooting reflex was so strong it was almost impossible to get her latched on. She'd shake her head back and forth as if possessed. Even after I was lucky enough to get my boob in her mouth, she'd start rooting again. This only led to a pissed off and hungry baby, so I ended up switching to formula. I believed in letting her sleep in her own bed and I usually let her cry it out, especially after all her basic needs were met. Little did I know she probably just wanted to be close to me...She was a quiet baby for the most part and appeared to want little to do with us and would arch her back when we held her (this can be an indication of autism). And since I believed in letting babies entertain themselves, she frequently did her own thing. She didn't spend all of her time alone or anything, just so ya know...Back then though, I rarely heard much about my parenting. Well, except that I needed to keep her awake more during the day so she'd sleep at night.  They didn't know she had sleeping issues, but it didn't matter what I said.

My son was the one who sparked the revolution. I was lucky to be able to breastfeed my son. I did have to supplement with some formula. The boy was literally attached to me all the time (I was lucky to get 15 minutes to myself). OMG, it was  rough and I wanted to give up soo many times...Once I found out both he and I were happier when we fell asleep in the same bed, I began adopting it into my parenting. Thanks to this, I was able to bond with him and realized how special of a baby he was. I mean, what 6 month old baby likes to play and run his fingers through your hair??

But, this is when people began to say stuff to me.

"You should really try to feed him on a schedule" Well, you don't always eat on a schedule, now do you? You eat when you're bored or for comfort, right? You eat when you cry and a baby cries when he wants to eat...And if I didn't feed him on demand then he probably would have ended up malnourished or even worse. He was always slightly underweight. It could have been due to supply issues...But this is why books like Babywise are dangerous. My mother has frequently made that comment to me. Thankfully, she has been working to accept this and even asked if she "was being old fashioned".

No one thought I'd breast feed for as long as I did either. With my son we made it through until he self-weaned a few days after his first birthday. I plan to do the same with Kyrielle. I don't care if you don't agree with it. For one, it's nationally recommended to continue to nurse for up to the first two years of life. For two, he's healthier because of it thanks to breast milk's super powers.

"You let him sleep with you?!" Good God, nothing shocks people more when you tell them you co-sleep and they don't. I acknowledge the possible link between SIDS and co-sleeping, but SIDS can also happen in the crib - hence the term "crib/cot death". There are certain measures that you take when  co-sleeping, just as there are certain measures you take when putting to baby to sleep in a crib. Plus, with all the recent recalls on things like the Nap Nanny and drop-side cribs is it truly safer to put your baby in a crib?? He doesn't sleep with us anymore, though. I gradually transitioned him into his own room and he sleeps just fine..


And once Dillinger got older, he fell in love with Dora the Explorer, mommy's and Dia's shoes, and other girly things. I don't have a problem with it at all, my husband does on occasion. Obviously the people who do,  fear that he will be gay. :Gasp!: Not the dreaded Gay Virus!! :rolls eyes: When my father was up here visiting back in June/July, he kept commenting to Dilli on how "it's gay" that he loves his pink Dora blanket and cup and his baby blue Diego shirt. So what!? He likes what he likes. If he (or any of my kids for that matter) are gay it won't affect me or my husband - we'll still love him just the same. I accepted the fact that you were a pretty shitty dad, why can't you accept your grandson for who he is? It's a good thing my father's a magician and can make himself disappear.

Opinions are like kittens. You can try to give them away all you want, but not everyone wants them. Parenting is hard enough without someone else putting their two cents in.  Unless I'm actually putting my kids at risk by say, leaving my heroin needles out or locking my kids in the car in the middle of summer with the windows rolled up (DISCLAIMER: I absolutely do not do those things), I'd like you to leave me alone...


Ange said...

Keep on doing what you are doing, and don't listen to any of the naysayers. You know what is right for your child, not the others.

For the record, my 9 year old's second favorite color is pink, and my 7 year old's second favorite is purple.

Babes Mami said...

We co slept most of the time up until about four months when he went into his own room and his crib all the time, I would let him sleep with us even now but he started wanting to have his own room. :[

My son has his baby, a cabbage patch boy my mom sent him and it's funny you posted this because the past couple weeks I have been going crazy explaining this kid to people. He like to take his baby places and my hubs employee made a gross face and said boys don't carry dolls. Umm...it makes him happy so what the fuck does it matter! He likes to play with my makeup when I do makeup monday and he likes to wear jewlery but he also likes trucks and boy things. One person has made the gay comment and freaked out and said I didn't care who the fuck he ended up with but if he was happy that's it. Then I had to explain you don't choose to be gay, who chooses that?!?! Bleh...now I have ranted in your comments lol.


YEAH MAMA ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD! As long as you aren't body slamming them NO ONE CAN TELL YOU A DAMN THANG! You do you mama! So far I see you're an amazing mom!

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