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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Last night did not end well

Breast feeding has suddenly hit a rough spot. I'm not sure what happened exactly but I'm insanely sore and my nipples are cracked pretty badly. It almost looks like I tried to cut them off...Every time she latches on I have to stifle myself from screaming. But I still cry out somewhat and since it alarms her, she pulls away only making it worse...This sort of stuff is supposed to happen in the early days of breast feeding, not six weeks in.

Last night wad probably the hardest time I've ever had. It took an hour each time to get her latched on and even then it wasn't properly. She cried so much that she threw up. I couldn't stop crying either, partially from pain & partially from frustration. So, after two hours straight of this, I caved and gave her a bottle of formula. I didn't have any pumped milk on hand, unfortunately. Formula was the last thing I ever wanted to use...

The worst thing is I have no relief. No nipple cream because I can't afford it (and after I learned what lanolin actually was, the thought kind of grosses me out). I can't go see a lactation consultant because I have no one to take me. My husband's job won't let him take anymore time off & I have no friends or family around here. All I have is my milk but that doesn't really seem like it's helping. My husband keeps suggesting I start using formula, even though he hates the stuff. I don't know what to do, but I need something....these cuts are borderline bleeding.

I only hope tonight isn't as bad as last night...

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